Looking back to where it all began
It started in a bustling aisle, with sore feet and a full heart. For the twenty-somethingth time, I was weaving my way through the One of a Kind Show in Toronto – my longstanding holiday ritual. I went for the same reasons I always did: to feel the buzz of creativity in the air, to see what clever new things people had dreamed up, to say hello to familiar makers and discover new ones. Some years I bought more, some years less. But I always came away instilled with the spirit of giving.
That particular night, I came home happily tired, bags parked by the door, brain humming with colours, textures, and conversations.
The next morning, on my way to another handmade market – because of course one wasn’t enough – something clicked into place. Somewhere between brushing my teeth, grabbing my keys, and heading out the door, I realized the way I was thinking about gifts had changed. It wasn’t just what I was giving that mattered. It was how I was giving, and who was touched along the way.
I could see a pattern in the gifts that meant the most. They weren’t the biggest. They usually weren’t the most expensive. But they carried thought, story, and a sense of care that went far beyond the price tag.
By the time I was halfway to that second market, a simple idea had taken shape.
I called it my 5H Code of Giving.
Homemade. Handmade. Healthy. Helpful. From Here.
At first, it was just a private promise: from now on, my gifts needed to meet at least one of those Hs. Over time, that little personal code grew legs and wandered out into the world.
Homemade – made by you, with time, care, and intention
Homemade gifts were my first love.
They showed up as photo books and calendars I created to share my memories in print, or “IOU” cards for portraits and family photos that would be taken once the wrapping paper had settled. Sometimes they were jars of jam, tins of cookies, my famous spaghetti "kit", or a handwritten promise of “lasagna delivery” in February, when everyone’s energy (and inspiration) runs low.
Homemade isn’t about perfection. It’s about saying, “I thought of you while I stirred, stitched, edited, baked.” It’s time, turned into something you can hold.
Handmade – created by someone’s hands, heart, and skill
If Homemade is “I made this for you,” then Handmade is “They made this for you, and I wanted to support their craft and delight you.”
This is where markets sing. Wheel-thrown mugs with thumb-print dimples. A linen tea towel stitched by a local textile artist. A small-batch candle poured by someone who knows their way around wax and wick. Creativity that wows.
Handmade gifts carry two stories at once – the maker’s and the giver’s. When you choose Handmade, you’re not just crossing someone off a list; you’re helping keep a creative practice alive.
Healthy – nourishing for people and the planet
Healthy arrived next, as I noticed how many thoughtful gifts were really about well-being.
Sometimes Healthy looks like self-care: gifts that say, “You matter too.” A soft pair of lounging socks and a good novel. A journal and pen for self-learning. A bath soak, a face mask, or a voucher for a massage. Even a simple “rest kit” – tea, a candle, and explicit permission to disappear under a blanket for an afternoon.
Sometimes it’s movement – a yoga pass, a walking date, a pair of mitts tucked around a thermos of hot chocolate and instructions for “one January walk together.”
And sometimes Healthy is about the planet: gifts made from reclaimed materials, sustainably produced goods, or simply less stuff and more experience. Healthy gifts ask, “Will this nourish someone – body, mind, or world?”
Helpful – a service, skill, or support that makes life easier
Helpful slid into place when I realized how often the most appreciated gifts weren’t really “for” the recipient alone – they were for the wider world, too.
Sometimes Helpful looks like giving in someone’s name: a donation to a charity they care about, school supplies through a global aid organization, a contribution to a local shelter, literacy program, or food bank. It’s a way of saying, “I see what matters to you, and I want to help move that forward.”
Helpful can also mean choosing makers and businesses who build generosity into their work – artists who donate a portion of their sales, social enterprises that employ people facing barriers, products that fund clean water, mental health supports, or community programs. Your purchase becomes a small act of solidarity as well as a gift.
And yes, Helpful is still the hands-on stuff: promissory notes for snow shovelling, untangling a photo library, child-minding so tired parents can have an evening out, or offering rides and errands when someone is overwhelmed.
Helpful gifts say, in one way or another, “Let me lighten the load – for you, and for someone else who needs it.”
From Here – rooted in your own community and local economy
The last H, From Here, is where my Niagara heart really dug in, but of course, "here" is your "here," whereever that may be.
I’d already seen how much impact it makes when people choose local – whether it’s VQA wine, books by local authors, tickets to nearby theatre and concerts, or shopping trips to locally-owned stores. Every time we buy from here, we keep money, energy, and possibility circling close to home.
From Here might be a bottle from a nearby winery or craft brewery, a piece by a local potter, passes to a regional gallery, or a gift card to that local restaurant. These are often the same businesses that hire local students, sponsor kids’ teams, donate auction prizes, and quietly show up when your neighbours need help.
Thirteen years on…
What began as a “it's cool they all begin with the same letter” musing has turned into a lifelong filter.
The 5H Code has guided my holidays, birthdays, thank-yous, and “just because” surprises ever since. It’s helped me spend more thoughtfully, shop more locally, and feel better about what I’m putting into the world – one small, human-scaled gift at a time. Used as a filter, it's actually lightened my holiday shopping load!
And here’s something I was gratefully reminded of recently: you don’t have to do it perfectly for it to matter. Some years, most of my gifts hit one or more of the Hs, but not always all, and that’s all right. 5H Giving was never meant to be another impossible standard. This time of year comes with too many of those already.
You don’t have to do it all to make a difference. Even one Homemade card, one Handmade gift, one Healthy act of self-care, one Helpful donation, one purchase From Here can shift the way giving feels – for you, for the recipient, and for the community around you.
Now, 5H isn’t just my personal checklist. It’s an open invitation:
To give in ways that are:
- made by you, with care
- crafted by real hands
- nourishing for people and the planet
- genuinely helpful
- rooted in the places you call home
That’s how it started. That’s still what it’s about.
Five little Hs, steadily changing how we give – and how it feels to do it.
My original origin story, written in the moment 13 years ago, is here.
The adorable drawings to illustrate the Hs were a kind gift from Laura Wills, Messenger.
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The last Christmas tree we put up this year is the one we call The Tree of Life.